Ok, Let’s Talk Goals.
Last Wednesday, I shared the backdrop of how our stories often shape our approach to goal setting. But today’s post is more of a practical explanation of the goals I set at the start of the year and revise quarterly.
We will cover the first two of the five formation goal categories today, and the last three we will discuss in next week’s Work from Worth Wednesday post. I would love to hear what stands out to you in the comments and if this conversation cultivates new ideas regarding your approach to goal setting and spiritual formation.
Five Yearly Formation Goals
At the start of each year, I sit down and create five goals that stretch across the entire year. These goals are shaped by Jesus’ two greatest commandments:
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.”
“Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Mark 12:30-31)
If success for the believer is to love God and be formed into the image of His love, and if these commandments are central to our lives, shouldn’t they also guide the goals we set? That’s why I create five year-long goals in five categories: heart, soul, mind, strength, and neighbors.
The question beneath each of these goal categories is:
How will doing this—or not doing this—draw me closer to God to become more like Him in this area of my life?
My desire is to truly internalize these practices. The focus isn’t on the behavior itself but on who I am becoming through my commitment to them.
For example, in 2023, our family was navigating a very hopeful yet terrifying unknown. After nearly a decade of full-time touring with his band, God told my husband it was time to come off the road. At the same time, God directed me away from an online business I had built over the prior seven years. This was a major transitional season in our story, and I wanted to be someone who knew how to rest in God. So my “soul” practice that year was the Sabbath. I’ll have to share more on this in detail in a different blog post, but learning to practice Sabbath that year was life-changing.
I stretch these goals over the entirety of a year to eliminate the urgent pressure to go “all in” over a short period. Something about elongating the process relieves the pressure for me. It invites a sustainable pace of life rather than the intensity of a short-term challenge. I make sure the goals I set in these categories have plenty of room for failure and margin for the deeper mission behind them.
To continue using Sabbath as an example, my goal that year was to practice Sabbath for 40 weeks of the 52-week year. This gave me 12 weeks of flexibility to learn this rhythm without the pressure of perfectionism. We came close to our goal, and Sabbath continues to be a learning process and an essential rhythm in our weeks.
But it’s not about practicing Sabbath “perfectly” or always observing it on the same day. It’s about committing to a rhythm of life that ceases striving, rests, worships, and engages in delight. In the words of Jesus,
“Sabbath was created for man, not man for the Sabbath.” (Mark 2:27)
Humans have a tendency to turn God’s best gifts into legalistic pressure points. Let’s keep the main thing the main thing.
In the case that an action is not clear in any of these categories at the beginning of the year, I simply leave the category blank. When an action in this area of my life is made clear as I seek God in the other areas of faithfulness, I add detail to what obedience will look like in that area once it’s revealed. Don’t force it.
Every 90 days or so, I do an evaluation of the goals that are set. How are things going? Is this formation goal still beneficial? What fruit is it producing? Why is it important? What needs to change about it? How has God shown up in the process? Reflection is just as important as faithfulness to the action itself.
Let’s break down these goal categories with a few examples from the last couple of years:
1. Heart: Stewardship of Emotional and Relational Life
This goal category covers my emotional well-being and the care for the relationships that matter most to me.
Questions related to this category:
How would I describe the nature of my closest relationships?
What is keeping me from intimacy and honesty in these relationships?
How can I grow deeper connection with myself and those that matter most to me?
Who would I like to more deeply connect with this year? Why?
How would a deeper connection in this relationship change me?
What do I need to do more of or less of to foster an environment of deeper connection?
Past Year’s Examples:
2023: That year, I desired more honesty in my friendships. We were navigating a lot of change, and I needed a safe place to process. I tend to live on the surface level and hide through my roles of leadership in my community circles. So, I asked two trusted friends if they would have breakfast with me once a month for accountability in deeper honesty. We intentionally used this breakfast date every month to bring an honest confession of what we were holding that was hard, what we could celebrate that was good, and how we could pray for each other intentionally. This has become an ingrained rhythm, and we still meet every other month.
Desire: I want to be a more honest and intentional friend.
Goal: Schedule an “honest breakfast” with _______ & ______ once a month.
2024: I desired more intentional time with my kids. We do a lot of life around each other all the time, but I wanted to spend more intentional one-on-one time with each of them. My son, Micaiah, is almost a teenager, and I sense the time slipping more quickly through my fingertips. Our quality time usually looks something like a card game at a Mexican restaurant, seeing a movie together, or going bowling. We chat in the car, listen to his favorite music, and leave room for unforced connection.
For my seven-year-old daughter, Amara, I notice that her attitude is much more pleasant when we’re spending time one-on-one together regularly. She likes going to coffee shops, window shopping around town, or playing a game at our favorite boba tea spot.
Desire: I want to be intentionally present with my children.
Goal: Schedule one date with each of my kids once a month.
2. Soul: Stewardship of Intimacy with God
This goal category covers spiritual formation practices taught in scripture that are foundational to practicing presence with God.
Spiritual Formation Practice Examples:
Reading, memorizing, and studying scripture
Fasting
Prayer
Lament
Silence, solitude, stillness
Confession
Generosity
Questions related to this category:
How would I describe my current relationship with God?
If I could tune into God’s heavenly conversation over my life, what would He be saying? What is He full of joy about? What would His words of warning be?
What attribute of God’s love feels hardest to receive?
Which attribute of God’s love feels most difficult to give away?
Where do I run for safety apart from God?
What do I need to do more of or less of to foster an environment of deeper connection?
That’s enough to chew on for one post, I hope this approach to goal setting is getting your wheels turning about new ways to receive and live the faithfulness of God. More to come on this discussion next week as we lean into the mind, body, and neighbor categories.
Work From Worth Mentorship Spring 2025
Our Spring session of work from worth is coming up in March of 2025. Karrie and I still have five more spots available for this intimate mentorship experience.
This mentorship program includes Freedom Academy Online February 7-9 and 12-weeks of story work, Biblical coaching, and spiritual formation. This group is one of my favorite things I get to be a part of because it’s so intimate. We only take 12 women through this mentorship process at a time.
If you want a free first step to get to know us and learn more about self-sabotage, spiritual gifts, and story engagement — here is a link to 7-days of free access to our Work From Worth Workshop recording.
You can learn more apply for our Spring Mentorship program by following this link.
Work from Worth Testimonials
Over the coming weeks, I’ll be sharing some stories and highlights from our past Work from Worth Mentees. To be honest… testimonials are tricky for me.
I don’t know about you, but the tidy testimonials with black and white result-oriented language land on me in a way that leaves me thinking, “I wonder what the real story is?” They’re hard to do well for every industry but, it’s especially difficult to do when it comes to communicating the outcome of care for an individual’s heart.
When we say yes to this work we are invited to exit the boundaries we have constructed as the markers of healing…. and venture into the grey of grief with God. Something profound happens when we choose to follow God into these spaces of transformation…. And also, it’s incredibly different to put into words what happens there.
I’m so grateful these brave individuals you’ll meet over the coming weeks have given us the permission to share a glimpse into their experience, the support they felt from @karriescottgarcia and myself, and how God used this space to change them through His love and grace.
@iveycross_, thank you for sharing a piece of your heart here! Proud of you and grateful we had the privilege of playing a small part in your journey. ♥️
Ivey’s Work From Worth Testimonial:
My biggest takeaway from this experience has been the power of connecting the dots in my story. Recognizing that my guardedness toward kindness stemmed from childhood experiences beyond my control has given me freedom and the ability to extend grace to myself.
This past week, I experienced overwhelming sadness and regret over a significant loss in my life. But for the first time, I grieved without panic. I reminded myself it wasn’t my fault and spoke to myself as a friend, which led to healthy grieving instead of a full-blown panic attack. This breakthrough wouldn’t have been possible without uncovering the connections to my childhood story.
When I started this journey, I doubted the process and thought I needed a clear, step-by-step plan to recover. Trusting the process felt impossible. But over the past 12 weeks, I’ve realized how transformational it is to share my story within a community, embrace my emotions instead of avoiding them, and allow healing to unfold naturally.
As I opened up and processed my grief, I noticed that self-sabotaging behaviors started to fade. This combination of storytelling, reflection, and support has transformed my life.
I’ve found freedom in my mind, experienced more joy and peace than ever before, and seen significant improvements in my OCD tendencies and intrusive thoughts. For the first time, I feel safe. This has been a truly life-changing experience.”
- Ivey, Health Coach
As I shared above, if Ivey’s story peeks your interest and you want a free first step to get to know us and learn more about healing self-sabotage, growing your spiritual gifts, and trauma-informed story engagement — here is a link to 7-days of free access to our Work From Worth Workshop recording.
You can learn more apply for our Spring Mentorship program by following this link.
See you next Wednesday!
For Eternity and Until,
Tori
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